Why Horses?
Tula Vida self-discovery retreats involve guided interaction with horses, one by one and in groups, with activities designed to welcome you into the sensory world with your horse, to learn and process your horse’s communication with you, and to experience an environment where “being” is more powerful than “doing” so you can tune in to your natural self with all its untapped potential.
No horse experience is necessary, just curiosity and desire to know more about yourself. Imagine what you can discover, create and accomplish here!
How can interaction with horses teach and support us?
It’s experiential, powerful, rooted in nature, supported by science
…and fun!
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Just like you remember the vibes/feeling of a place you enjoyed but may not remember the name or other information, the “energy” of an experience is what affects us most.
Horses can immediately “read” our non-verbal communication and react to what’s really going on inside, not the way we try to pretend to be or think we should be, and we get to actually feel their response to us in a tangible way (where another person may not show it or we may discount it as being unrelated to us). This makes the teaching and feedback from horses extremely powerful – it is like “fast track” coaching, where self-awareness is magnified.
“The horses are like truth serum. They have this incredible ability to reveal the very things in ourselves that we hide from and push down.” ~ Cassie, Business Owner
At Tula Vida, we use science-backed principles from the Heartmath Institute, Polyvagal Theory, Neuroplasticity and Mirror Neuron concepts, Somatic Experiencing studies, Mindfulness research, Sand Play Therapy and many others to inform our approach (read more about these below).
Tula Vida’s founders, Sally and Eric, are experienced facilitators in the renowned Eponaquest model of Equine Assisted Learning developed by internationally recognised author Linda Kohanov, and based on years of experience and refinement, so this creates a powerful basis for their work.
For example, if a horse sees a lion he will feel fear and this essential “information” tells him to run away. He will also silently magnify and communicate this fear to other horses around him (as well as body language, horses can send and read energy vibes and biofeedback) so the whole herd picks up on the danger and can run at the same time. Once they are safe again, they will go back to eating grass. Imagine if a horse either ignored, supressed, or told himself not to feel the fear? That makes no sense to him for his, and his herd’s, survival and his instincts.
When we are interacting with horses, they respond positively when we acknowledge what we are feeling rather than hiding it (which, as above, does not feel safe, trustworthy or connecting for a horse - or for us if we are honest!). Horses are great at standing by, quietly supporting us with their presence without any expectations and, as we say, “holding the space” for us to have whatever experience we need.
“The horses are experts at gently guiding you to live in the present moment and to experience your feelings and emotions without judgment.” Jenny, Intuitive Coach
We all have emotions all of the time and, with support from your facilitators and your horse, you get to practice seeing them as helpful information rather than judging them as bad, and learn to use emotions as a way to problem solve and increase your capacity, rather than just get in the way.
Imagine if the horse who saw the lion spent the next year re-living his experience, telling all his friends, having nightmares about it, posting about it on social media?! He would keep re-experiencing the fear and would not be able to relax or digest his grass.
The gas pedal and the brake of the body: The autonomic nervous system is the controlling, regulatory and communicating system in the body and has 2 parts: the sympathetic nervous system is like the gas pedal in a car, that triggers the fight, flight or freeze response, providing a burst of energy to deal with perceived danger; the parasympathetic nervous system acts like a brake, promoting a rest and digest response that calms the body down after danger has passed.
Horses, who evolved over 56 million years as prey animals in the wild, have developed sophisticated nervous systems which are very efficient at releasing the energy they accumulate during stressful situations and “going back to grazing.”
Our bodies react the same way to “dangerous” thoughts as to dangerous situations, so we can experience the same reaction to speaking in public (“what if I mess it up?”) as to seeing a lion.
We avoid our feelings with doom-scrolling online, finding more things that activate our sense of threats.
We get stuck with the gas pedal on in everyday situations, which is both exhausting and takes its toll on our mind, body and spirit.
Tula Vida horses live in beautiful, vibrant natural settings and are masters at both modelling a balanced nervous system and at helping us tune into our parasympathetic, our own rest and digest response. We teach you practical tools to truly understand what mindfulness is and how to live it, and your horse will give you feedback (through his reaction to you) to allow you to fine-tune this for yourself and put it into practice at the same time as connecting and interacting with others.
Example in practice: I approach my horse, Gitana, while busily thinking about all the things I still need to do that day, running through my mental lists and unaware of my present surroundings, in my “sympathetic nervous system”. In this case, Gitana is likely to move away from me, turn her head away or show interest in something else. I am not present, calm and available for connection with her in that moment, and she will react to that. I get to see how I am showing up for things in my horse’s reaction to me.
As I notice this, I have the opportunity to pause and take a deep breath, gradually become aware of myself in the present moment, let go of the mind chatter by practicing my tools. As I calm my nervous system in this way, Gitana responds in kind by relaxing herself, looking or even moving towards me. I feel connected and rewarded, increasing the likelihood I will try it again. The more I practice this, the better I become at noticing and adjusting my own state of stress and relaxation and, as a result, becoming more effective.
This is a mindfulness practice, with a 1000 lb biofeedback expert as a teacher!
Revolutionary scientific studies on “Mirror Neurons” in our brains show that human beings are astoundingly attuned to the energetic state and emotional shifts of others around them. Our internal mirror neurons register what another person is experiencing, and our own bodies adjust to what the other person is feeling. That is, we mirror what we’re seeing (whether we are aware of it or not). This can be positivity or negativity, calm or frenetic, safe or unsafe etc. It is therefore important that we are surrounded by people who support and restore us. A great question to ask yourself is: am I surrounded by the kind of energy or attitude I want to mirror and am I being the person that others would want to mirror?
Horses do not disguise their reactions like humans can - their behaviour communicates to us what they are picking up from us. They do not judge other herd members for this, but instead support us to allow our feelings and get back into balance (as outlined above). We get to see how it feels to be in our best state, aware, open and present, and how we can create more secure, satisfying and mutually enjoyable relationships – which is what the horses do with each other.
Example: I am sitting in a field, wishing the horses would come over to me, thinking about how they must not like me. I am pretending that I am “fine” and am trying to smile and look inviting. The horses stay over the other side – I am not truly present or relaxed and my inside feelings do not match my outside feelings.
With my facilitator’s support, I become aware of what I am feeling and process the information it is giving me. It feels less overwhelming to have acknowledged it and to be myself, feelings and all. I practice the tools I have learned to balance my system, enjoying the feel of the grass under my feet and the fresh air around me. I start moving, one step at a time, towards the horses – why not approach them first, my inner wisdom and instincts tells me?
A horse, Galan, looks up, feeling me moving, feeling me listening to my emotions and trusting my natural senses and starts moving towards me. Without thinking about it I pause, just as Galan pauses, and we start moving again together, somehow totally in synch. It just feels right. The other horses drift towards us, they do not judge me for my feelings and they see me as I am. I feel accepted as part of the herd. My heart expands with joy and connection.
Horses actively seek connection with us when we are open to it, allowing our feelings, following the guidance of our own hearts and intuition. The horse herd is a place to discover where “being me” is enough.
Imagine the neural pathways of your brain are like roads – the more you use them, the easier to drive they become. The more we think a certain thought, or connect it with an emotion or memory, the more likely we are to use/think/feel them – until it turns into a habit or belief.
For example, if I had a bad experience that I tell myself is my fault, I start to doubt my own ability, I start thinking of other examples of my perceived failures, I worry about what else I might do wrong, I start imagining disastrous consequences in things I have planned – perhaps to the point of believing that I can’t trust myself to do anything. It has become a “superhighway” in my brain, fully paved and easy to travel.
A counter-thought or feeling - that I am capable, confident and trustworthy - will feel like a jungle path, overgrown with weeds and hard or scary to travel at first. However, with support and conscious attention I can change this. I can start to travel down the jungle path more and more, clearing the way and letting the old superhighway fall into ruin, until eventually the pattern is reversed and I have changed my default neural pathway.
As I learn how to build a connection with a horse, paying attention to what I see, hear and feel, using my tools and listening to my own inner wisdom about how to be – and I get immediate, positive feedback as my horse responds in kind, coming towards the interaction and supporting my process with his presence, I create powerful new neural pathways with positive messages about my true self and my capacity. With repetition in other activities, I start to see myself through the eyes of my horse – good enough just the way I am.
“When I could not get Mr Big to “move”, I would find myself becoming doubtful and judgmental about my “failure”, and then “try” even harder in that detrimental, overly future-focussed way. In both cases, witnessing how Mr Big was reacting to my inner state, brought to the surface my tensions and mental/emotional tendencies, in a stark way that facilitated my self-examination and then release of the behavioural patterns which were no longer serving me. As the session progressed, I found myself becoming more aware, present, and letting go of painful stories as well as judgments about myself. Horses know how to be so present in the here and now…I left feeling more centred, peaceful, connected and ready to embrace my life and new opportunities in a fresh way – like I’d been through a big resetting process.” Cara, Lawyer
Imagine if we lived like this?
Non-verbal communication: Considering about 90% of our communication is non-verbal according to experts, where do we go to practice this other essential 90%? Horses are masters in communicating through body language but also more subtle, energetic signals, and you can learn and practice this too. The key is learning to notice and read the valuable cues, without attaching judgement or story, and allowing yourself to stay present to respond.
“It’s impossible” said Pride
“It’s risky” said Experience
“Give it a try” whispered the Heart
Horses don’t need to “try” to be mindful or present, it is how they live. They don’t worry about getting things right, they don’t over-analyze, they don’t get stuck in the past or the future, they don’t judge themselves or each other – instead they assess what is right in front of them, react according to what will keep them safe and connected, then go back to grazing.
They are comfortable to be themselves in an ever-changing world
What They Say
“The horses are incredible and Sally and Eric are great teachers who have wonderful insight and wisdom!”
Christy, CEO