Not long ago, I (Sally) tweaked a muscle in my back. It didn’t seem like much at first — just a tightness — but within hours, I couldn’t bend over. Couldn’t reach. Couldn’t move without a sharp, shooting pain. Even the idea of motion sparked fear. I felt frozen, like the only way to avoid making things worse was to stay perfectly still.
But staying still wasn’t healing me.
With encouragement from those around me — and with some hard-earned trust in my body’s wisdom — I began to stretch. Gently. Tentatively. It hurt. But I breathed, and I let my deeper support muscles do the work. Slowly, I felt the tiniest softening in the tight, angry spot. It was just a fragment of release… but it was enough to keep going.
Another millimeter. Another breath. A moment of tension, then another flicker of release. Over a few minutes, I was astonished at how much space returned to my movement — space that felt impossible just moments before. It tightened again later. But this time, I knew something important: I could meet the pain and not make it worse. I could lean into discomfort, gently, and find healing there.
And I realized — this is exactly like working with our inner emotional world.
Pain is pain, whether physical or emotional
When we begin to feel into vulnerable places inside — especially those tied to deep shame, fear, or past wounds — the reaction can be just as intense as a back spasm. Parts of us jump in to protect, to clamp down, to keep us frozen. They say, Don’t go there. You’ll make it worse.
And yet… staying frozen doesn’t help either. I know – I tried it for years!
Like the stretches I eased into with my back, emotional healing often starts with just enough presence. Not too much. Not diving headfirst into the pain. But breathing into it. Staying close. Offering it support.
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That support, for me, comes from what the Internal Family Systems model calls Self energy — the deep, calm, connected part of me that feels like the Earth’s core. Quiet. Rooted. Already holding everything together, even when I forget.
Personally – and many of those who come here – find that the horses magnify this Self energy, this sense of being ok, calm and connected. When I’m with them it’s almost like they support me in my Self energy, so the Self energy can support the more fragile parts of me.
When I bring Self energy to meet a vulnerable part (like the part panicking that I will not be able to get up out of bed), I don’t have to force that part to change. I’m simply showing up with the inner equivalent of strong core muscles — letting that part know it’s not alone. That it doesn’t have to contract so tightly. That there is a system holding it, and that system is trustworthy.
Tiny releases are enough
Just like the back muscle that released a fraction with each breath, inner parts respond to gentle presence. They don’t always relax right away. Sometimes they just soften a little. But that little bit is enough to shift things. To bring hope. To build trust.
Over time, these micro-healings accumulate. The system — body or psyche — begins to function as a whole again, instead of shutting off isolated pieces until they scream for help with a dramatic outburst. Like my back, forcing me to take it slow.
You don’t need to know how to do this. It’s a practice of presence, patience and trust. We learn through trying and failing and trying again. But the support is there, inside of you, waiting to be asked. And if it isn’t answering your call or feels too hard to reach, the horses and the land here can support you to find it.
With love from the land and the herd,
Sally @ Tula Vida